Sunday, August 28, 2016

Pain

I had dreams this summer. Dreams of walks by the river, gentle hikes, refinishing furniture, creating and painting. But this summer has come and gone and here I am.... A weeks worth of doctors appointments and curled up in bed with my only friend..... My only connection to the outside world. While I'm an introvert by nature I do truly love friendship and adventure. But honestly I'm not that fun to be around anymore. Don't ask me how I'm doing, I'm surviving. Here are my ramblings from my 2 am stupor where I let it go and felt sorry for myself. It happens

After fighting back pain for over a year I finally felt I might have the upper hand. Then the first kidney stone hit. Two surgeries and a hospital stay to get that one out. I knew at that time my other kidney had an equally large stone. While all my co-pays and out of pocket maximums have been met I elected to get that one removed 2 months later. Was it a big mistake? My life hasn't been the same since. Chronic pain and inflammation once again riddle my entire body. But despite that I started school with my last kid home. Monday, two subjects, it went well minus my intense pain. Tuesday morning I was in the ER with again another, smaller, but just as painful kidney stone. There went school for the week.
The intense pain I had been dealing with since the June surgery has almost doubled this week. Unable to do anything for myself but lay perfectly still and hope I don't get too sore in one position.

I'm suppose to try again tomorrow to start up school. I've got a worthless urology appointment in the afternoon. Worthless because I'm sure absolutely nothing will be done minus a lets wait and see if it happens again. Ugh!
Tuesday I'm meeting with a rheumatologist to see why my Sed rate and C-reactive protein is so high. My regular doctor has ruled out rheumatoid arthritis and lupus. Then she basically threw her hands up and said I don't know.

Breathing.......because it helps to get it out on paper (electronic as it is) crying because my pain can not be seen by others, and therefore I imagine everything they must be thinking. Screaming inside because I can't stand the pain. And honestly, I'm fearful. So much has been cut out of my diet, I still gain weight on, who knows, air? What is wrong with me? And how.... How am I going to finish out homeschooling my youngest (14) if I can't even focus myself let alone help her focus.

It's all running through my mind..... One breath at a time? One minute..... One second?

Life feels impossible

Thursday, July 14, 2016

Mega Bubble Bath

I love to take a hot bath and soak my pain away. However since we moved into this house the only tub is upstairs with the kids rooms. Need I say more? Ok, one more thing, it's a tomb of a tub. So tiny and you can't lay back if you care about your neck bones. It's straight up and down! I'll admit I've scrubbed as much yuck as I could and succumbed to trying to relax in that tub, but I have to be desperate.
Fast forward a bit to a few weeks ago when my husband and I took an anniversary trip. Just the two of us. As I was booking the hotels I kept looking for a jacuzzi tub in the rooms. The first two nights the only room available was just a regular room. However even the standard tub was pure luxury to our tomb of a tub at home. I enjoyed several baths, especially since I walked the beach for way to long and honestly didn't think I'd ever make it back. I took full advantage of no guilt on my water is usage. Shame.....

The third night we stayed at a really out of the way motel, yes you read that, a motel with an actual real metal key to enter the room. The reason I chose such a place.....it had a jacuzzi tub. Now driving up to this place, I questioned my own sanity, walking to the room my husband questioned my sanity, but when we opened the door, it actually was a beautiful room. And there in the corner, surrounded by windows overlooking the pounding waves was my jacuzzi. Ahhhh! The door was barely closed and I had the water running!
So, what does this terribly long story have to do with bubble baths? My sweet teen girls but together a gift basket for us. It included muscle soaks, chocolates, candles, lotions and bubble bath. It was our last night out so I thought I should pour a little in.
Here's the deal, the bath water was hot. I opened the window next to the jacuzzi, and my husband had the sliding glass door open for the cross breeze. I just love ocean air breezes. I love them even more when I'm sitting in a big hot bath. Now, the bubbles in the bath were getting a wee bit more aggressive then I had anticipated, but for some crazy reason the thought never occurred to me that turning on the jets would make it worse. It was like that 80's horror flick, The blob. Except this time it was in bubble form, quickly the bubbles were growing higher then the tub by about 8 inches or more. That's when it happened...... The ocean breeze kicked up a nice gust and off went a huge amount of bubbles out that open sliding glass door. I'm fast.... I shut the jets off but the bubbles just stayed. Seriously this was the best bubble bath ever made. Those bubbles would not die. Again, another whoosh from the ocean breeze and again bubbles are flying out the glass door. Im in hysterics as I try to consider what all the people on the beach must be wondering. Do they see the massive amount of bubbles floating out of room 62? Are the bubbles dissipating quickly or are they sticking to someone's window 2 floors down? Hysterical laughing ensures.

Quickly I close the window and my husband closes the glass door. I start to let the water, and hopefully the bubbles out. Water went, bubbles stayed.

As crazy insane as it was, I eventually got the bubbles down and re-started the bath again. Totally worth it!

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Pinterest Perfect

Recently I've picked up pining on Pinterest again. Having had a second surgery in just a few months I've done a lot of sitting and thinking and well.... Pinning.
Which brings me to the title of this post. My home, my homeschool, my kitchen, my diet and simply my life is perfect..... On Pinterest. However if you show up at my house announced or unannounced you'll see a typical American homeschool families little home. A dinning room table that longs to be refinished, a piano that's more then slightly out of tune, laundry spilling out of the too small laundry room and possibly more then a few Amazon boxes holding various impulse good for my family purchases. In fact there is not one Pinterest worthy spot in my house.

It's ok! My failure to implement my pin worthy boards into my life does not define me. It does not define my commitment to my family or being a keeper at home. It's a dreamers tool, a place to design and pretend and maybe just maybe find a helpful or fun thing to try. Don't let it become something you compare yourself to. Don't let it define your self-worth.

You can pin that!

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Andrew Lang's Fairy Books - NOTEBOOKING and FREE BOOKS

FREE Andrew Lang & Fairy Books Printables 

Grab the free note booking pages for Andrew Lang's Fairy Books Here!

You can also download all of Andrew's Fairy books from Amazon for free. 









Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Monday, April 15, 2013

For You They Signed - Looking ahead

I'm always looking ahead. My oldest two are finishing their freshman year and we have loved almost everything we have done. This time of year however, I start looking at my bookshelves, checking out the curriculum magazines that magically appear on my doorstep and looking forward to what I want to do next year with the kids.

Today is Monday. Mondays are usually not a great day to just sit around and pour over books. Usually there is washing to be done, chores to be caught up on, music lessons to run to and normally I'm delivering my Avon orders. But today, it's snowy, my husband is home not feeling well. I'm not feeling well. We have a sick chicken, yes chicken, and well I simply thought I'd take a look at whats on my shelf and sit and read awhile.

It's been several hours and I am now surrounded by Abeka 10th grade geography, Bob Jones geography, British literature, American Literature, 5th grade spelling, Vocab and Spelling, Writing and Grammar and well a host of other things. Yes, all from just thinking I might take a peek on my shelf and grab a book to read.

I  have this love hate relationship with living books vs boxed curriculum. I love a good book. I love the conciseness and non parental involvement of boxed curriculum. I hate trying to fit my living books into a perfectly organized curriculum by subject, date and relevance and I hate not having the full story in a textbook. Every year I go through the same problems. Geography is a great example of using a text book. It's organized and I know they are going to learn just enough. Literature is a poor example of a text book. While it's good for organized learning, reading half-stories is boring and I think does not feed a desire to read good literature. It takes the best parts of a book and leaves it at just that. You kind of miss the connection you get with the author and the characters when you don't read a book cover to cover . Don't get me wrong, textbooks are a good tool. I just don't feel like it's going to be what we want. Yet I believe I own every literature text book every made.

So, I've gotten way off my topic of what I wanted to talk about, but since this is a blog you get to read along with my spastic thought pattern.

Amongst my looking at books today I came across a little gem that I bought at the used curriculum fair last year. Marilyn Boyer's For You They Signed, The Spiritual Heritage of Those Who Shaped Our Nation. I picked it up last year because I had remembered hearing great things about the book and well, if a book has made any impression on me that I remember it while in the throws of  the pure joy of a book sale I must purchase it. I hugged my book, loved it a little held it close and when we got home gazed at it longingly as I put it on my shelf to be rediscovered today. Yes, a year later I pulled it out to peak inside the cover. I was even so excited I handed it off to my husband only to be greeted with "Oh yea, I read that last year when you bought it" (LET DOWN)

Before you faint, let me just remind you that I had already picked out what my kids were going to be doing for this year before I bought the book.

I curled up on the couch, surrounded by these loads of textbooks and started reading. It was the first time ever.....(I can not believe I'm admitting this) that I have read the Declaration of Independence. My immediate thought after the first few paragraphs was I have got to post this on Facebook. People need to read this. I popped over to facebook on my phone, yes I was still in the middle of reading, and started to post only to stop myself and shy away from telling everyone in the world that I had never read this founding document that our entire country rests upon. Um, yeah, no. Instead I'm sitting here telling you and I'm going to go post this on Facebooks so......yeah, throws a big knot into my thought process. Seriously if you have not read this document you really need to get your eyes on a copy now. Especially today!

I spent the next two hours devouring this book. I have to say it has been a sincere pleasure to read the stories of our founding fathers. Marilyn has outdone herself with the history and research that reside in-between the covers of this book. This is not a TEXTBOOK, it is a beautiful story interwoven with the lives of those who took a stand for our freedom when it was not the popular thing to do

I know I will not do it justice to explain how this book is laid out. I will however give you the link to their site. They have a sample chapter you can download and of course they have spent way more time concisely telling you about this book. No rabbit trails like my blog. :)

For You They Signed - Marilyn Boyer

Needless to say, my children will be reading this next year. It really is quite an amazing book. I consider it a must absolutely own book.